city of refuge

AmeriCorps has ended. I get the feeling the next few posts will be about it because I don’t quite know how to handle it.

It’s funny. Everyone’s saying goodbye to each other after graduation and crying, and there I sit just hugging everyone, saying it’s gonna be okay, and going on. There was someone I said goodbye to that I was sure would make me immediately burst into tears, but I just couldn’t. Why? Was I trying to be strong for everyone? Who knows. I got to the airport and immediately it hit me: I wasn’t going to see many of those face.s Ever. Again. Thennnnn the tears came. And they just haven’t stopped.

I put on a t-shirt that smelled like it’s owner and cried. I put a CD in and the songs surprised me so much, I cried. I woke up alone in my non-megabed and cried. A little too many tears, no?

This morning was different. I got to “debrief” with my friend Kim, who did NCCC the year before me at Perry Point. She let me completely unload on her and explained that she got home in early November and didn’t stop crying until Christmas. It’s normal! Thank goodness. I guess I lucked out, I get to move in less than a month back in with two amazing teammates.

Oh, about that. I got a job at Boys Hope Girls Hope as the Community Resource Coordinator! I coordinate tutors and mentors for 5th and 6th grade students in inner city Denver. Perfection…I work from home and directly in schools! I signed for a place two days before I got the job because I am just a straight up risk taker. I cannot wait to get back.

Running’s been okay. Ran a little over 8 miles last night and felt all right. Gotta get back into the swing of things. I wasn’t running or doing strength training over last week, but I worked out in other ways. Lots of walking, a little yoga, but not what my body is used to.

Oconomowoc. I’m back here and I’m completely confused. How can I work a 50 hour work week here? I’m going to dive deep into my sister’s wedding and allow myself to be her bitch (for lack of better terminology) until next Saturday, then carb-stomp my way into my marathon, and from there it’s my most excellent Devil’s Lake trip and then I leave. It seems like a mix of the shortest amount of time mixed with a neverending session of time here.

World…I love ya. I’ll keep you posted on my life’s happenings. For NCCCers, I promise, it’s gonna get easier for us. I loaded the dishwasher today and didn’t understand why it wasn’t full. I helped my mom make a shopping list and laughed when she put bagels without a (4) next to it. I have a kitten following me around the house that I didn’t steal from the side of the road, and my heart hurts because I miss all of you. That would have never happened while we lived together, right? 🙂

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3 thoughts on “city of refuge

  1. I (think) I know exactly how you feel… to be honest it still pains me to think too hard about all the people I met studying abroad in Australia that are still on the other side of the globe… who I may or may not see again? Its like a death, life moves on but it’s still really hard even when years pass, etc. You’ll be okay — seems like you will keep yourself distracted. I am so proud of you for all you’ve been through this year, I remember taking walks in Ocon and we had no idea how our two transitions over the next year would play out and look at us now! love you xoxo

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