that time i lived somewhere new

I am one week into being a Denverite and I just love it.

I have got the greatest apartment, the coolest new roommate, the best friends and the loveliest cat in all of the world.

I keep going back to this place, and it’s kind of dark and a little frightening. It’s the “where was I one year ago?” place. And it was just so different. I can’t stop getting a little panic in my heart and stomach. I think it’s because I am literally doing the opposite thing that I thought I’d be doing. I was less than a year off from marriage! I had a VISTA position in Whitewater, Wisconsin. I was comfortable with my plan: finish NCCC, move home and be a happy housewife. I just can’t believe how much I’ve changed.

I have said “oh, shit” about a thousand times in the past four days. Life is moving so fast around me and it’s just a total whirlwind of emotions, feelings, people I never saw in a certain light, promises, strength, panic and freedom. I keep closing my eyes and putting my hands over them because I feel like if I shake my head enough, I’ll wake up on my parent’s couch and all of this would just be a far-fetched dream.

I sit here in this beautifully furnished apartment (THANK YOU BRADLEE!) and look at the fantastic boys that I live with and the wonderful home they’ve turned our place into and I am in pure disbelief. Luckily, B feels the same way and I’m blessed to have a friend who is definitely just as lost as I am.

I just can’t stop thanking everyone. Every one of my friends in Wisconsin who didn’t bail on me for following my heart (and the ones who did, really, because I never needed you I suppose), B for convincing me I’d function fully on my own, the lovely people of Denver for smiling at me as I run past them, just about all the employees of Vine St. Pub for dealing with my constant shenanigans…I’m just in such a great place. And I couldn’t have been here without all of you.

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