to the two;

You’ve changed. A lot.
I get to wake up in the morning
I wish nothing but the best for you,
and feel complete; whole.
(knowing that isn’t what I would/could provide)
I just assumed I hated sleeping next to someone.
but I never want to see you again.
It’s because they weren’t the right person.
I don’t want your companionship
I smile, I laugh, I’m comfortable now.
(which is odd, because I did request it)
I have trouble making thoughts sometimes, even mid-conversation
and I don’t want you to send me angry texts,
because when the sun hits your face in a certain light or you’re telling a joke or you’re singing so loud your face is turning red,
or messages, or calls.
I realize I’ve never seen something so beautiful.
I hope you learn to leave my family alone
I know there are people in your life who worry for you,
because you being around them isn’t helping.
(I definitely have that as well)
People still think telling me things
But I hope that I’ve proven them wrong. Mostly because I’m still here.
about you is a good idea. It’s not.
I don’t tire of you easily.
I think you’re doing things I don’t approve of,
Sometimes when it’s just us and we’re sitting really close
(but who am I to say what you can and can’t do? I’ve said that to you more than enough times.)
I take really deep breaths and try to breathe you in; you’ve got an energy that I want.
and I hope you stick with what morals I thought you had.
When I close my eyes at night, I never have to worry.
I don’t like you, that’s for sure.
You’re always right there and you keep me safe and (overly) warm,
And I don’t love you. You knew that.
I can’t wait
But you’ve got a special place where you took up six years and I hope you stop beating that like a punching bag long enough to realize that it’s okay to have loved and lost.
Because if you don’t,
you’re going to lose that place. Forever.


One thought on “to the two;

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