the topics we’re usually thinking about

This is going to be a blog post on two topics: one I have never written about directly, and one I have written about often.

Sex and food.

How do these things relate? I mean, there’s the obvious – they both are pleasurable, they can make you feel guilty, they are both basic human activities (the act of eating food, that is.) But nah, I’ll just go here with it:

Sex: I was having a conversation with Exhibit A that left me thinking. She said that women are like slow cookers in that they need time to be warmed up, where men are like microwaves and take mere seconds. Hmm. She also said something about Hot Pockets, and then I realized it was the second time I had spoken of Hot Pockets in a weekend, and that was weird for me.

It’s true, though! I can say since I’ve made the switch (hehe, it’s like Activia only WAY better!) there’s a huge difference in every aspect of my relationship with Exhibit A versus any of the men I had been with prior. And it lays in places other than in the act. (Disclaimer: this does not refer to all men/women/relationships.) Men don’t like the idea of lingering on a date at the restaurant to finish enjoying a beverage or dessert (unless they can then say “But I bought you dessert! That means I’m getting some, right?”). They don’t usually stick around and take you on, say, seven dates before attempting to get in your pants. The entirety of it is seemingly normal in hetero world. It’s what’s expected of a woman in a relationship with a man.

Opposite of that is gaydom. This new world I live in is full of politeness, dates for the sake of them, and fragility. I’m no fabergé egg, don’t get me wrong, but the respect you receive from the same sex is ten thousand times more legit in the dating world. I am constantly surprised (in the best way possible.) And it’s almost as though the idea of no expectations leads to the best possible ending, if that makes sense.

Food: This year is like, the year of me or something. I have opened my horizons in the food world times ten!

Now, before I go there, let me just say that my Type A personality really delves itself well into the food world. This is my fridge, currently:
It’s a little weirdly organized by what’s in there. But! The thing that’s so exciting is that there’s stuff in there that two years ago, you wouldn’t have found in my fridge whatsoever. Hummus! (Delicious homemade tangerine ginger) iced tea! Actual sushi! Greek yogurt! Mangoes! Honestly, it’s all very exciting.

Living with twelve people for ten months lent its hand to so many different types of foods. I had never had quinoa, plantains, or correctly cooked tofu. I learned so much! Then, moving to Colorado and being with my roommate and Exhibit A…woah. I was not well trained in the course of culinary culture. I’ve since had Indian food, Thai food, Middle Eastern food, and sushi as of yesterday (WHAT A GAME CHANGER!) It’s so fun for me to get to experience all of these new foods with these beautiful people that I love so much.
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So what do these things have in common? So. Much. I think that the natural abilities of both, the warm feeling they can give, the fact that they can be done one after the other with ease (or at the same time, but let’s not go there!), the natural human craving…sex and food are pretty legit. And considering sex and sexuality are two waaaaaay different things (“Sex is who you do, Gender is how you do it, and Sexuality is who you’re doing it with” – Zach Stafford), I have to say that the change in my sexuality choice has led to overall success for me in the sex and food department. And that’s a big win.

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2 thoughts on “the topics we’re usually thinking about

  1. Why must you stereotype heterosexual relationships? I have been with (what should my nickname for my boyfriend be?) — I have been with Legolas (he would’ve been so mad if I went with Frodo) for three years and I can tell you I don’t recall him ever pulling the “I deserve sex because ___” card. Not even in the beginning. In fact, after a big meal he usually gets so immobile and paralyzed from overeating that he’s never even tried to attempt sex after. THERE’S YOUR FOOD-SEX CONNECTION. Too much food = no sex. I can tell you that we go on dates because we also enjoy eachother’s company, that’s not just left for “gaydom.”

    “…the respect you receive from the same sex is ten thousand times more legit in the dating world.” Now, if I were to say anything about me being with the opposite sex made something “more legit” in the dating world — that’d be pretty offensive right? C’mon!

    Dare I say I think your relationship epiphanies have less to do with gender or homosexual relationships vs heterosexual relationships and a lot more to do with right person vs wrong person?

    You know I love you but throw some of us happily heteros a bone! We too can achieve great sex and great connections, we can all be happy no matter who we date as long as they are the right person!! ❤

    • I was about to put in a disclaimer that said “This does NOT refer to all couples,” but I didn’t because I kind of just assumed people would know it was my opinion for what works for me. 🙂 I agree, and right person/wrong person does play a HUGE part in it was well! I was absolutely speaking in general terms. My apologies 🙂 (adding disclaimer now!)

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