internet memes and me…me.

Y’all know that Internet meme that was going around a couple of months ago?

The one that’s like “______. This is what I do. This is what my friends think I do.”

You know. This one:

So. I thought I’d make one that’s personalized. For me. As the cool, hip, pseudo-lesbian that I am. Here it goes.

Miss Halfway – The Awesome Human Meme

What my friends think I do:

I’m quite sure that my friends think my life is very, very sexy. Why? I’m not very “sexy” by any means. Exhibit A is very sexy to me, yes, but that would not be in her top ten describing words for herself.

When I say sexy, I’m talking The L Word sexy. I break up with my fiance and up and move from Wisconsin and come to a huge, awesome city. I start at a cool nonprofit. I end up with a smokin’ hot, super talented girlfriend. And honestly, I kind of wrap myself up in the world that I’m in out here – and that’s that. And the mystery of it all is pretty…well, sexy. Alluring. Probably a little frustrating, and definitely confusing. And…that’s The L Word in a nutshell.

What my parents think I do:

One time, I came out to my mom. When I hung up the phone, I remembered that she said she was watching Black Swan. I’m pretty sure I freaked her out for life.

But seriously, I think that my mother is quite sure that since I date women, it must be from my own crazy mind. Sadly, I’m not crazy. I’m (embarrassingly) normal. But I am a fierce dancer. Thanks for the twelve years of ballet. It pays off when I’m dancing. In a gay bar.

What society thinks I do:

Hey, world. This is the image that comes up when I search “butch lesbians.” So, there’s that.

I think that the world is pretty sure that they hear the word “lesbian” and they go one of two places: Bleach-blonde “lesbians” they’ve seen in porn, and clunky-shoed, flannel-wearing, short-haired butch lesbians.

Here’s the thing. I’m neither. Exhibit A is not one of those, either. We are two average looking girls. I’d say she looks gay because she has the killer confidence that I wish I had (I just had this conversation with our neighbor yesterday – she does this side smirk that blows my effing mind, and it was the telltale sign to me that she was into ladies!) and because she has those typical “lesbian tells” that I’ve written about in the past. BUT! That being said, neither of us are doing these stereotypical (to the extreme) “gay” things. We’re just two average gals. But I’m quite sure when you hear “they’re gay,” you get this image in your head. And according to this photo, you want it bad.

What my boss thinks I do:

This one isn’t exciting. I like my boss. She’s in the LGBTQ spectrum. I think she thinks I’m a little odd sometimes, but that’s really it. Sorry, world.

What I think I do:

I used to tell Exhibit A that I was a straight girl, caught up in dating a gay girl. The “ally” in me was what was so attractive about her, etc.

Um, wrong.

Since we’ve been together, my interest in the LGBTQ world has skyrocketed. I’m signed up on just about every newsletter I can be. I write here. I write there. I write everywhere. I’m vocal to everyone and anyone who will listen. I believe in the rights for equality – I have said since childhood that we’ll laugh about the way we treat anyone in the LGBTQ spectrum relative to how we treated the black community fifty years ago (though it’s still not great…but you get what I mean). I am quite positive that coming out has made me well aware of my surroundings, and I want to help. I’m ready to be a changemaker.

What I actually do:

In reality, this is what I do on the regular:

I wake up. Exhibit A wakes up. These things are simultaneous as she has a dog that is an early riser. I usually feed him and let him out. Then I get ready for work. Then I go to work. I usually kiss Exhibit A goodbye, unless I’m in a huge hurry. I go to work, she works, then we come home. I take her dog to the dog park. I make dinner while she talks about how she loves that I make dinner. Then we pour some sort of drink (always beer, whiskey, or wine). Then we watch some internet TV, including but not limited to:

  • Downton Abbey
  • Mad Men
  • The L Word (but not for a while, really.)
  • Old SNL
  • Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog
  • Movies that Exhibit A thinks I would like, such as anything touched by Christopher Guest
  • Documentaries

Then we go to bed. And we wake up and repeat.

Between the two of us, we work seven days a week. It is exhausting, but great. We are in love, and it’s pretty boring to anyone other than us. Or it’s cute. Whatever you decide. I think we’re pretty cute. But that’s probably because I love her. Sorry I’m not sorry.

I’d like to think of myself as a badass activist who does a lot with the platform I have…but I could do more. I’m not anything special. I’m just average. I live my life at a 5. I could do more, I could do less. I’m happy with my life and who I am. That’s that.
________________________________________________________________________________

And there you have it. An internet meme of my life. Cheers, y’all.

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2 thoughts on “internet memes and me…me.

  1. This is basically my life too. I just found your blog yesterday, and while I’ve been reading, all I can do is nod and say “This.” after every post.

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